Utah Chiropractors Encouraging Dihydrogen Monoxide Consumption at The Joint in Salt Lake City

Yes, it’s true. Chiropractic patients at the Joint in Sugar House are being encouraged to take Dihydrogen Monoxide.

This odorless  colorless chemical compound is also known as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, Hydric acid, and other names depending on whether or not its presented as a solid, liquid or gas.

Though there are reported cases of overdose and even death, it is not banned in Utah. Most patients are able to tolerate the 3 oz dispensing of Dihydrogen Monoxide handed to each patient when they leave our chiropractic clinic in the Salt Lake City area. However, there are a few who refuse to try this free “sample” because it is not an uncontaminated refined substance. These purists know that it’s almost impossible to make 100% natural Dihydrogen Monoxide because of the caustic nature of the substance (it dissolves almost anything over time.)

So what is Dihydrogen Monoxide used for? Here is a short list of its benefits as used in industry, government, and worldwide in private homes:

• It’s an industrial solvent used to remove dirt and soil from the skin and hair
• It’s used as a joint lubricant
• It is a cure for some headaches
• It cures dehydration faster than any other substance
• It helps your digestion
• It decreases muscle cramps
• It maintains the balance of body fluids
• It controls calories
• It makes your stomach feel fuller so you eat less
• It helps energize muscles
• It is involved in food transport from initial consumption down to the cellular level
• It is involved in most of the chemical procedures in the body
• It’s good for the skin – sometimes erasing wrinkles and fine lines
• It does an amazing job of ridding your body of toxins
• It may help prevent kidney stones
• It helps maintain normal bowel function
• It prevents constipation

Health food advocates in Utah recommend you take it with every meal. Sports enthusiasts suggest you keep it close at hand - even in your car, on your desk, or in your bag. Some people choose to flavor it, but as a chiropractor, I advocate taking it straight.

So what exactly is this miracle Dihydrogen Monoxide? Well let’s break the word apart:

Di – means two. So, Dihydrogen means two hydrogen atoms.

Mono- means one.  So, Monoxide means one oxygen atom.

Therefore, you have two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom combined into a molecule with the symbol of H₂O – or simply WATER! 

-Michael Lindstrom, D.C.

  Chiropractic Physician